I've Got The Post Vacation, Adoption Wait Time Blues...doo.doo.do.doo.doo.do.doo

Warning... Warning...Flashing lights...red sirens.............You are about to enter the "negativity zone"...you're still here? Don't say you haven't been warned...

This week sucks!!! Is there something in the air? This morning, I was reading this post and I couldn't agree more. Okay, so I'm tired, my daughter has been sick this week (poor baby...) and has kept us up every night (poor us...) I've been stuck in this house and have read way too many blogs and rumour websites about the adoption wait times. I spent all day Tuesday stuck in traffic driving daughter to and from dr. and then myself back down I-5 to crappy Brownie meeting (I'm co-leader - we told the girls that we aren't going to the group campout) and then back up I-5 to wait in line at the pharmacy and deal with the crabby staff. Even my husband has been crabby. You know it's bad if my always positive, never will argue with me, always-looking-at-the-bright-side -of-things honey is crabby. Not to mention I'm coming off of my post-Disney high.... I'm feeling blah...

I'm especially feeling it regarding the whole wait time thing. When we signed up for this adventure again back in December, I knew that the wait would be longer than it was the first time around. Last time, we signed up with our agency on July 3rd of 2003 and had our daughter in our arms on August 2nd of 2004. I thought that was a long wait...little did I know how long the wait acutally could be. In December, I was thinking about 16-18 months and then added a few extra months in my mind and on the conservative side of things thought that we would be in China in Fall 2008. Now it appears that the wait time has skyrocketed from 18 months to a possible three year, that's 36 month, wait or more. That means travel in 2010?!!?? How does that happen so quickly?

Now I know, dear reader, that I should not be swayed so easily by rumour sites. You're thinking, "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to surf the net when you're feeling down?" Because you know it's out there if you want to find it. But this isn't like the time that I convinced myself that my bruise that wouldn't go away was a rare blood disease or when I went looking for more info on something and was convinced that I had lupus or some other life altering problem. This time there are plenty of cold, hard, facts out there to support many of the rumours swirling about. The only good news, and I'm taking a few steps back from the edge now(because the eternal optimist in me is dying to come out and play again), is that no one can predict the future. Sure, all indicators appear to point towards an increased waiting period, but we have no idea how the new rules will effect processing times. We have no idea of how many people have decided (unfortunately) to back out of the China program now (since the wait has been so long) and what, if any, effect that may have on wait times. We have no idea how China will respond to increased wait times or if they will at all. We just don't know....and we have no control over the majority of it. It could get even longer, or it could speed up. I do wonder what I will do if it acutally gets to be a three year wait. N will be almost 7 years old at that point. Will I really want to start over then? Would the girls even have a close relationship with that much of an age difference? The thought of it, quite frankly, scares the hell out of me.

I guess the best I can do at this point is to just let go of it all...What is that Serenity prayer...? Let me control what I can and let go of what I can't? I'll deal with it when I get there... Hopefully, miss N will be feeling better and we can get outside today...maybe I'll quit trolling the internet for bad news and clean the house or something? Get the calender out and plan our summer fun and vacation....and woo hoo... I get to go to the dentist today to have my teeth cleaned!!! I really have been stuck in this house a little too long. If all else fails, I'll just go here again and watch videos. Another warning... it's Will Ferrell and his brand of humour...the easily offended may not want to watch. Gave me a good laugh though yesterday. What does that say about me? hmmm...

Thanks for listening and for helping me to talk it out. I feel better.